Hairdressing: EPIC FAIL

Secondspawn is shornspawn. Last night I took the clippers to his curls.

The results, as might easily have been predicted, pleased nobody. Neither Secondspawn nor I liked the length (very short due to his mother’s egregious failure to acquire a qualification in trichological control); neither Firstspawn nor I enjoyed the 40 minutes or so of continuous maximum volume screaming with which Secondspawn greeted his appearance in the mirror.

This morning peace prevailed* but the weather was cold and (another fact which will come as no surprise to those with children) not a single hat was to be found of the formerly enormous collection of Arsenal and Nike headcoverings which littered the house. He walked, uncomplainingly, to school with his little ears shrivelling with cold.

Thus it was that I was galvanized to complete the Red Light Special which I started back in April last year (on holiday in the camper van… sniff sniff) and which has been languishing for months complete but for the darning in of its ends.

red light special hat

Being designed for an adult head it has the advantage of entirely covering the ears of a spawn, and he seems rather to like it.

* Firstspawn informs me that this is because he told Secondspawn he looked just like Brad Pitt and Brad Pitt had been voted the sexiest man in the world and therefore Secondspawn was mollified. He also confided that he wasn’t exactly certain whether Brad Pitt had really been voted the sexiest man in the world but he thought it might be true.

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11 Comments on “Hairdressing: EPIC FAIL”

  1. Simple Country Vicar says:

    Ooooh what a TERRIBLE mother R!
    I wish I had the guts for that kind’ve hairstyle, but looking like I do I would resemble a nightclub bouncer.

    Tell him it’s really cool, and it’s also temporary.

  2. Hg says:

    I foresee a shining career for Firstspawn in the political or diplomatic arena.

  3. dale says:

    Oh God, I’m so glad someone else’s kids are as simultaneously (or alternately) wonderful and impossible as mine were. Or, more precisely, I’m so glad you’re willing to talk about it. I’m sure there are plenty of wonderful and difficult kids. Did I ever tell you about the time my daughter screamed for 45 minutes because I proposed to wipe up a splotch of spilled ketchup that had an interesting shape?

  4. rr says:

    SCV, the temporary nature of the situation was emphasised several times. Along with the importance, in future, of agreeing to go to have it trimmed by a professional. I’m rather curious about what you look like now. A nightclub bouncer??

    Hg, I do hope not. I was hoping for something rather more remunerative.

    dale, 40 minutes was a restrained performance. I’m not going to forget in a hurry the time one of my bosses was here and he retreated into a bush by the side of the road, lay down and announced he was never going to leave it. It took what felt like about a week to get him out again and another fortnight to get him home. He’s lucky to have made it as far as he has without serious injury. I have to keep reminding myself that for several years he screamed for at least 90% of his waking hours so 40 minutes a day is a vast improvement. His fundamental temperament is partly to blame but he also had a rather rough time of it in his early years, what with a non-functioning mother etc, and so had a good excuse.

  5. Tall Girl says:

    Great picture. I bet the hair looks great too, and will go through many charming stages as it grows… Whether he will think so is an entirely different matter.

  6. Tall Girl says:

    oh and I meant to say, of course, great hat!

  7. Karen says:

    It’s a gorgeous hat. I recently acquired a pair of hairdressing scissors and hacked some great chunks out of the back of Bernard’s mop of hair. It is starting to settle down a bit now. Meanwhile we are both in need of hats and I feel somewhat inspired to try something a bit more adventurous than the plain beanie I usually knit. Can you help me?

  8. rr says:

    TG, thank you 🙂 The hair was complemented by his teacher but despite this he remains resigned to it.

    Karen, of course!! Nothing would give me (and no doubt Pix too) greater pleasure. I sat today holding a skein for a friend who was winding it into a ball. Something that simple gives more pleasure than almost anything I can think of. Imagine the transports of joy that a bit of fairisle might invoke! We have an opportunity to discuss the matter very soon 🙂

  9. Dave says:

    If it’s any consolation, I also used to spend most of my waking hours throwing tantrums and generally making myself and others miserable up until the age of 12. And look at me now!

    O.K., that probably isn’t much of a consolation.

  10. rr says:

    Hmmm… “up until the age of 12”. That means four years to go. No, not much consolation there. However looking at you now means it will all be worth it. Obviously. I think. Um. Yes.

  11. Lucy says:

    Who needs hair anyway with brows and lashes like that?


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